One year ago my world fell apart. I awoke to the news that my father had died suddenly and tragically. I boarded a plane and went to comfort my mother. It soon became apparent that she had developed dementia. My father died at home a few hours after discharge from DePaul Hospital ER. I talkedContinue reading “Path to Why”
Author Archives: lgcrites
The Obituary
My father’s obituary was crafted the night and early morning of February 17-18, 2020 beginning at 9:00pm and ending at 2:00am. At the time, I was the primary caregiver for my mother who was suffering from dementia, which cemented her toxic personality into a mental prison of paranoia, rage, and mood lability. After I finishedContinue reading “The Obituary”
The Adult Daughter with the Notebook: An Irony
Here they would come, always from out of town. Frazzled, but determined. The notebook, usually from the hospital gift shop. But sometimes they were prepared. As a medical social worker, I sat in on these meetings. To help with discharge planning, end of life decisions, support to the family during their pain, confusion, anger. “DidContinue reading “The Adult Daughter with the Notebook: An Irony”
The Letter
Dear Dr. K, Please take the time to read this. You owe my family this simple gesture, a token of your time. I know you are busy. Do it anyway. My name is Lora and I am the daughter of the late Harrison Steves who passed away at home on February 10, 2020 after spendingContinue reading “The Letter”
Triage
Do I clean the kitchen cabinets or do I retile the master bathroom? Do I wait on hold with the insurance company advocating for my mother to receive an inpatient MRI, or do I answer a call from the unit where she is hospitalized? Plastic or paper? (Kidding, I bring my own). These are aContinue reading “Triage”
Palpable Gratitude
“…judicial orders act to deprive the ward of the right to make decisions on her own behalf with respect to care, treatment placement, support and maintenace.” I read the lines of the Statement of Duties and Responsibilities of a Court-Appointed Guardian. I take notes in one of my now three notebooks, this one titled “Lois.*”Continue reading “Palpable Gratitude”
Eleven.
“Now draw a clock face, with the numbers,” the medical assistant instructed my mother. I sat motionless, feigning invisibility, taking in my surroundings. I am seated next to my mother at the neurologist’s office during a work-in appointment, which was graciously granted to us because of the severity of her symptoms and my (the adultContinue reading “Eleven.”
Heart Talk
Grief reaches deep. In the two weeks immediately following the death of my father, my body felt the grief deeply, cellularly. Since his death, I have learned more about bereavement and its affects on the body. Reading like the back of a cereal box, most sites rattle off symptoms: sadness, crying spells, sleep disturbance, appetiteContinue reading “Heart Talk”
Day One.
Of course I reach for my phone at the moment I wake…I’m a 45 year old active wife and mother who posts on Facebook, has my pets on Insta, drives kids to soccer, lacrosse, ballet…reads the local news every morning on the tiny screen. I CrossFit. I recycle. And of course you don’t answer theContinue reading “Day One.”
